Welcome to Kitchsplosion

Cauliflower Mash is a Holiday Smash
“Don’t tell them it’s cauliflower,” a guest at our Thanksgiving dinner advised. “They’ll never know they’re not mashed potatoes!”

Why cauliflower instead of potatoes?

Low Carb Power Breakfast

"And no toast. A side salad instead." I say finishing up my breakfast order. No toast, no hash browns, no sugary fruit, thanks. And yes, I know it's an up-charge.

It's like I'm from a different
Top 8 Reasons Why Diets Fail

With so many options for dieting, and so much disappointment, how do you know if the diet you're considering is finally the answer you've been looking for? Before you try another quick-fix
You can’t feed grass to a stick of butter

Paleo and keto diet (low carb) writers want me to melt a stick of butter in my coffee for a “power start” to my day. There are a number of problems with this advice. For one,

Welcome to Kitchsplosion!

Just clear a spot for yourself amongst the pots and plates and food splatters. Sorry about that—I was just trying out a new dish and…well, I’ll clean it up later. Pull up a chair!

What’s a Kitchsplosion?

Kitchsplosion—|ˈkich splō zh ən|  noun

1 a violent blowing apart, shattering or splattering of something in the kitchen, as is caused by removing the immersion blender partially from the liquid while it is running or, similarly, lifting the electric mixer out of the whipping cream while spinning. Also, overheating vegetable soup in the microwave.

2 technical: a violent expansion in which manic energy is transmitted outward from the vegetarian in the kitchen.

3 a sudden outburst of something such as noise, light, violent emotion from the kitchen, or insight gained from cooking, serving, or forgetting to unplug the electric mixer before disassembly.

4 massive disorder, mess, and general unsightliness of the kitchen created by Rachel’s cooking.

ORIGIN portmanteau of kitchen, the usual epicenter of disaster, and explosion. Explosion comes from the early 17th century Latin explosio(n-) meaning ‘scornful rejection.’

Is that the whole story?

That’s just the definition, silly. Here’s the story:

“Woah. Looks like there was a Kitchsplosion in here,” my ex used to say to me, kind of regularly after I cooked. It’s still true. I’m not sure how it happens, but even if I feel like I’m cleaning as I’m preparing, this is what my kitchen looks like when I’m done: the counters, stove, and sink are crowded with food-covered implements. I have managed to dirty some eight cooking vessels; a tower of various sized bowls; a dozen spoons, spatulas and other utensils; and all our measuring spoons and cups. It’s an art.

Ok, what is the Kitchsplosion blog about?

I started to blog in the spring of 2009 thinking I’d write about whatever was on my mind, but by the end of 2010, I realized that my blog—and I—needed more focus, a specific Project. It needed to be about food…

Then (kaboom!) after a particularly messy night cooking, my ex suggested Kitchsplosion as the new name, which I instantly loved. In addition to dinner, the kitchsplosion is physical manifestation of my “creativity.” Kitchsplosion is my Project: to catalog my successes and failures in the kitchen and beyond, to share my recipes and meditations. This blog is the story of my journey of cooking and disaster-ing and eating, which I hope will be entertaining and at times instructive or thought-provoking. All of these entries relate to food, somehow, and food relates to everything else. As Brillat-Savarin wrote, “Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.” He also explained, “A meal that ends without cheese is like a beautiful woman with one eye,” which is another topic entirely.

Who are you?

I’m Rachel Kurtz, a high school English teacher, writer, hula hooper, outdoor adventurer, yoga enthusiast, and amateur foodie. In 2012 I earned my MFA in Creative Nonfiction from Bennington, just to give my blogs a little cache. I love eating good food, mostly vegetarian, made from ingredients I can feel good about. And I love to tell stories. Enjoy!

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