It’s not true that a watched pot never boils. What happens is it hovers on the edge of almost-boiling for so long that after a long stretch contemplating the quiet liquid and floating vegetables you sigh and turn away and get involved in something else so that by the time you remember the pot and run back into the kitchen it is churning so violently it has already filled your house with steamy vegetable-essence and almost sprays hot liquid all over the stove.
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Recipe: A series of step-by-step instructions for preparing ingredients you forgot to buy, in utensils you don’t own, to make a dish the dog wouldn’t eat.
— Author Unknown